Did grandpa lie to cause a panic?
The police report reads:
Let's put on our thinking caps. Ready?
Grandpa knew me for 27 years when he made these statements. In all that time, I never committed a violent act. It's not in my nature. And he knows that. But when the chance came to tell a damaging lie, he took it.
Grandpa called me a "win at all costs" sort of person. Do you know what that means? It means I lack an ethical and moral compass. It means I'd do anything to prevail, including hurt other people. That's a scary lie.
He seems to argue that I'm angry. Really, really angry. Angry enough to disappear with a child! That choice would be very angry, very selfish, and very harmful, don't you think? Here's a guy who has known me for 27 years, employed me, traveled with me, welcomed me his three wedding ceremonies, and yes, even approved of Emily's adoption plan in San Francisco, until he changed his mind. What makes him think I'm angry? I felt hurt, very hurt. But anger is something else. Could grandpa point to a single instance where I expressed anger? Maybe a handful, but not many. That's because I know anger is destructive, and I don't want it to destroy me! To tell a policeman that he's "very concerned" that I'm so insanely angry that I might even kidnap a child... now that's a juicy lie!
Let's summarize the deceptions:
- Capability to be violent. Well, I've never been violent in my entire life. I met grandpa when I was 16, and I was 45 when he said this. Hmm!
- "Win at all costs" individual. That phrase means I lack ethics and morals, a person who will bend the rules just to win, feels he must win, and will hurt people to win. Not me at all. Could he list ways I've hurt people just to win? The policeman didn't ask him to list any. The policeman took him at his word. So he saw the chance to tell a juicy lie. I even dare say he tried to "win at all costs"!
- I'd "take off with Chloe and disappear". Here the officer is relying on grandpa's experience with me. Grandpa takes advantage of that trust to say this crazy, scary thing. Do you think after 45 years here in the Puget Sound area, as a homeowner with a stable career, with family throughout the region, I'd suddenly decide to kidnap a child--a child who needs to be stable, safe, and protected--and just disappear? That would be incredibly harmful! Crazy people do that stuff, but I've never done anything like that to anyone, and never would. Grandpa knows that, but he saw a chance to tell a lie that really might make the policeman frightened, and he told it.
There was a trial
How did it sound when it came time to answer for these claims? It sounded like...
Testimony of Darin Murphy and Donna Mairs, September 30, 2015
Would you like to know what I said at that trial? You can read every word by clicking this link!
Testimony of John Dempsey, October 1, 2015